This is how you find motivation to be yourself, to build a business when your brain is working at 120 and your heart is working at 200.
Being highly sensitive, queer, ADHD, and running your own business is a bit like trying to steer a car underwater. It sparkles, it spins, it's beautiful under the surface. But sometimes you just want someone to pull you out of the water so you can roll smoothly on the ground.
Photo of me in my mother's silversmithing studio.
I'm turning 30 this year.
And for the first time in my life, I feel like I no longer want to push myself into a corner, or pressure myself to fit into other people's pace, norms, or frameworks.
I am highly sensitive.
I have ADHD.
I am queer.
And I run QueerWall all by myself. The whole choir really.
Everything from web design, marketing and social media managing, to poster design, website development, writing this blog, making mockups, accounting and about a thousand other things.
It may sound brave. Like I've checked off the whole solopreneur bingo. But the less glamorous truth is that the journey from idea to launch has been filled with enormous doubt, imposter syndrome and a constant feeling of being both "too much" and "not enough" at the same time.
And those feelings never really go away. Because a website is never completely finished, and my self-doubt never seems to fade. An e-commerce site is always an ongoing project. There is always something that can be improved, fixed, optimized.
When self-confidence was my biggest obstacle
I've had ideas. Lots of them. They constantly pop up in my head, wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. Visions. Ambitions. But at the same time, an inner voice echoes that says I'm not good enough, that no one will take me seriously, that people will laugh at me and that there's better, bigger and smarter creators and businesses.
And that's probably the hardest thing about being a solopreneur on the spectrum. You can't hide behind a team. There's no boss to blame. It's just you, your brain, and all your fears and insecurities under the same roof.
ADHD certainly means I can be creative like a supernova one day and completely drained of energy the next. The high sensitivity means that every feedback is felt in the body, not just in the head.
And being queer in the corporate world.. well, that's a story in itself, but it feels like it's still like trying to navigate a landscape that wasn't really built for us.
Picture of me in my office, illustrating a poster.
But this year I'm doing things differently
This year I've decided on three things:
I'm not going to wait until I feel “ready.”
I will build self-confidence through action.
I wont hold back or hide myself behind my brand.
Not through perfection, comparing myself to others, but through creating, showing, sharing. In real time, by sharing something small everyday.
I also want to emphasize that QueerWall is not just a webshop floating around the internet. QueerWall is my most brave attempt to create and share what I've been longing after for a long time: a place where queer wall art are proudly displayed, as well as in queer homes and spaces, where the entire LGBTQIA+ community can enjoy relatable, fun, stylish, charming and sexy wall art, without being oppressed or packaged in a rainbow filter.
QueerWall for me, (and hopefully for you) is affirming, meaningful art for those of us who's tired of being labeled, ignored, and deprioritized in an extremely norm-coded world. A pat on the back or a warm hug after a long day.
Being square and creative at the same time
My brain works best when it has both structure and freedom. Timeboxing, lists, deadlines, but also much-needed walks, music and staring-at-the-wall time.
During my almost 2 years as a solopreneur, I've learned that:
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The focus flow, as I call it, doesn't appear from waiting for it. It comes once you get started.
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Inspiration is something you work towards, not something you get.
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GEMO is a life rule that I live by constantly: Good Enough, Move On. Don't give 100% in everything you do. 80% is enough. That's good enough, and then you can move on.
And perhaps most importantly:
It's okay and possible to build a business, create a brand and run it all on your own from the ground up that works for your brain. Not the other way around.
Picture of me.
Do you relate?
Then maybe you're like me:
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Highly sensitive in a noisy world
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Creative but exhausted
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Full of ideas but afraid to take up space
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Sick of waiting for the “right time”
I want to share what I wish someone had told me when I started QueerWall:
You're never too late, there’s never a wrong time to start.
You're not weak, and you are not lacking.
You're not doing anything wrong.
The world needs your perspective, because you're unique and not like everyone else.
Why I'm doing this (and why QueerWall exists)
The purpose of QueerWall is to remind us, every single day, of one thing:
That your home should encapsulate who you are, cuz you live there and it's YOUR life. Not just how you decorate or what color you paint your walls with. But also the living, vulnerable, proud and complex you.
If you want to start somewhere, you'll find inspiration here:
The end of the slide (but the beginning of something else)
So, I enter The Dirty Thirty with shaky legs but a much straighter back, for a new year with even more queer, explosive, crazy, colorful and amazing posters. I'm really proud of what I've managed to achieve despite all the adversity, to call QueerWall mine, and to share it with the world.
If you’re standing at the starting line, feeling a little lost and unsure about creating something of your own, I want to gently nudge you forward:
Do it anyway, despite the doubt and fear. Even though you don't know exactly where it will lead.
You don't have to be brave every day. Take it one day at a time.
And build a home that reminds you of who you are, not who you try to be.
Picture of a gallerywall with lots of queer posters.
